I feel like to be around life, to be a wife, gramma, mom, daughter, sister… Whatever, I need meds. To do God’s work I need solitude… freedom… and no meds, but how can i really think that leaving my family is what God really wants for me…
nothing makes sense anymore. …
And like going with God is selfish and totally self-serving which goes against that which I was commanded to do which was to serve humans as Jesus Christ did… so to do that wouldn’t I suffer being around life ??
Perhaps I want to believe I’m not human so I can say I’m not a soul and have permission not to care.
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